dear life.

drumroll please...

2010-03-19T12:57:00.000-07:00

without further ado.... the new and improved blog:

ch ch changes..

2010-03-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

confession: i get excited very easily. sometimes my excitement can be excessive.

for example, i've stayed up past 3am the last 4 nights in a row working on a project that i'm super super excited about. probably excessive.

want to know what project has justified me sleeping 4-5 hours a night?

i can't tell you. it's a secret.

ok, just kidding. i'll tell you.

it's a new blog and website! a REAL website!

phew. it's so good to not have to hold that inside any longer.

why a new blog, you ask?

well, for a while now i've been debating having a separate blog for just my photography and painting. a more professional looking blog. because professional looking blogs obviously make you more of a professional. BUT... i just haven't wanted to. i don't want to post on two blogs. i don't want people to only check one blog and not the other. so i came up with a better solution.

a new blog in general. a new domain name and a new layout. it's clean and organized and the perfect blend of personality + professional. the boy and his awesome roommate have spent SO much time helping me get everything together and work out all the kinks - they have honestly been so great i can't even tell you.

i really wanted to have the new and improved blog up today, but it needs just a little more fine tuning. so it's looking more like tomorrow or wednesday. and as soon as it's up and running, i will answer all of your wonderful questions and pick a winner! so if you still want to ask a question - you have another day or two! (ps. reading through your questions has been SO so fun. i can't wait to share some of my answers). the website will probably be another week or so, but the simple fact that i have my own website is so exciting to me it's almost nerdy.

in other news:

i whipped up an AMAZING new recipe yesterday with the help of the boy's roommate - justin. in fact, we spent over 2 hours cooking + taking amazing photos of our little creation. not only are these two guys fabulous and making websites, but they are also excellent at letting their tummies rumble and waiting to eat for the sake of photography and my blog. not to mention rearranging tables and holding lights/reflectors for the sake of my photography as well. i can not say enough good things about them - mostly the boy. he's my favorite.

i woke up early today. and i went jogging. i almost died. oh utah air, please get warmer! i'm out of shape and you being so cold just makes it harder! but i do feel very accomplished/slightly liberated.

do you ever look forward to certain activities that you start counting down hours? i'm going to play tennis with the boy and then eat leftovers on his lunch break. 3 hours. so excited.

in fact, we made calendars yesterday. calendars and schedules and checklists. he showed me how to use google calendars (amazing) because he's good with computers. i drew our schedules for the week on binder paper, color coded them, and taped his to the fridge because i'm good with drawing and color coding. we were seriously sitting at the kitchen table at 11pm last night, laptops out, making schedules. i should have taken a picture.

i miss my nieces and nephews. they are getting so big and cute and i can't stand that i live 800 miles away from them. (some of them live even farther away, actually).

ok, well this has turned into rambling and brain dumping so i'll stop now.

but keep an eye out for the debut of my new + improved blog - can't wait to show you!

xoxo.

jana

21 questions.

2010-03-10T21:56:00.000-08:00

let's play a game called 21 questions.

[this isn't how the real 21 questions is played, but that's ok]

i know there's a few people out there that read this little blog of mine. some of you i know. and a lot of you i don't know - but i love you just the same! it may sound creepy, but it's not. and even if it is, just go with it.

anyway, every once in a while i will peruse through a blog and wonder certain things. like, i wonder how her and her husband met, or where did she learn to cook like that, and where does she buy her daughter's clothes because i'm pretty sure she dresses better than me. you know, things like that.

so today i had the thought: i wonder what people wonder about me? there has to be something, right? especially from the people i've never met.

so here's your chance to ask me anything.

really. ask me anything and i will tell you. you want to know what kind of camera i use? no problem. want to know what color the boy's eyes are? done.

i figure i'll leave this open for a few days and next week i'll answer my favorite 21 of your questions. [i really hope there's at least 21 or i will be slightly embarrassed].

and as a little added incentive, i'll pick a name from one of the comments to receive a complimentary photo session, like this one i gave away a few months ago. it would obviously work best if you live in the bay area or utah, but hey, maybe i'll need a vacation.

so ask away! please don't be shy!

EDITED: if i happen to draw the name of someone that doesn't live anywhere in the nearby vicinity - i will probably have to opt for sending you a painting instead. hope that's ok. the boy was probably right when he said it was a lot more practical than a photo session. i just chose to offer a photo session because i'm better at following through with those in a timely manner. (i struggle sometimes with following through, i'm working on it, don't judge me).

moral of the story: you can still ask a question and possibly win something - even if you live across the country. or in a different country. i don't discriminate :)

dear mom,

2010-03-10T13:00:00.001-08:00

i thought about e-mailing you, but i know you read my blog too, so this works just as well.

remember how you sent me the recipe for your sweet and sour chicken yesterday? well, i made it [don't worry, it was delicious. but we'll talk about that later].

anyway, it took me over 2 hours. 2 hours. we didn't eat dinner until 9 last night. and i realized something. every time i make a recipe of yours for the first time - something you made all the time while i was at home - and i realize it's kind of hard, and takes forever, and the smoke from burning oil burns my eyes a little, it makes me grow an added respect for you. really. how you made us dinners like that with 7 kids is beyond me.

now that we have that out of the way, i do have an excuse for why it took so long. i also made fried rice, which i had never made before either. it wasn't too hard, but definitely added time. oh, and it was way good too. i used so much garlic and ginger i almost died - in a good way. in fact, my fingers still smell a little bit like garlic and ginger today.

one last thing. don't be mad. i made a few changes to your recipe, and i think i liked it better. i used red bell peppers instead of green. and you know how the sauce calls for ketchup? well i forgot to put it in. i didn't realize until we were already eating. but i didn't mind the difference. and i added a dash or two of red pepper flakes, to make it just a little spicy. and i added a drop of red food coloring, to make the sauce a little more pink. you know, like it looks in real chinese food restaurants. still, i would have had no idea what i was doing without your recipe as a jumping off point.

i didn't get to take any pictures - that's the problem i run into when i cook at night. there's just no natural light. that, and i'm starving and want to eat.

i think your teriyaki chicken is next on my 'to cook' list. want to send me the recipe?

love you.

xoxo.

jana

ps. mom do you mind if i share the recipe on here? i bet people would want it, right people that read my blog? i honestly think when i made it last night that it was better than any sweet and sour i've had at a restaurant. i just need to make it again so i can get some pictures before i post it.

monday brain dump.

2010-03-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

long weekend.

my body hurts.

friday, alexandra (the roommate) and i drove up to play cards and make pizzas with the boy and his roommate. she had never been up there with me before, and it was kind of fun for her to see a part of my life that she has definitely been missing out on. the pizzas were completely homemade and delicious. and i was so glad that alexandra is just as competitive as me when it comes to silly card games.

saturday, the boy and i decided to play tennis. i used to play tennis all the time in high school, and we've been talking about playing forever. let me just tell you, that i have not worked out in close to 2 months. and that is why my body hurts. yes, i am a sissy.

sunday, we made dinner for a friend of the boy that just had their first baby about a month ago. i made pioneer woman's macaroni + cheese but was not too impressed - no offense pioneer woman, don't hate me. i actually really liked it before it was baked, so i have this awesome idea to make it just how i like it. i'm kind of dying to try it again this week, just a little bit tweaked - so stay tuned.

besides that, i should be studying for my biology test that i have to take today. and as soon as i'm done with class, i'm taking the boy to the bean museum on campus for a nature photography exhibit. i'm terrible at taking photos of nature, and he loves it, so it will be a good experience for both of us. the picture above is the best i can do with landscapes. my bad. i'm a portrait kind of photographer.

so i'm having these struggles with my blog. i've been wanting to do a makeover for a while now. i want it to be personal, but i want it to look professional, and well, i struggle. everyone says to just have 2 separate blogs, but i just don't want to. is that silly of me? is separate better? hmmm. choices, choices.

i've been having other struggles too. with babies. everyone is getting to have babies lately. except me. (i realize that i have to be married first, but we are just going to overlook that for the sake of this argument). until now, it has never been that bad. i just figured that as long as my sister-in-laws kept the babies coming, it would hold me over until i could have babies of my own. only, it doesn't work out like that when the babies are 800 miles away! and boys just don't understand that there is a difference between meeting a baby as a newborn, and meeting them as a 4 month old. it's like they are a completely different person by then. am i the only one who thinks this way? i actually know i'm not, i just wish that there was a way for me to describe it in a more logical manner - boys understand logic.

i need a kitchen with windows. for picture-taking purposes.

i cook in my boyfriend's kitchen a lot, for a few reasons. one, he lives in a super nice condo with granite countertops and it's just a pretty kitchen to cook in. two, he only has one roommate (usually i'm cooking for the 3 of us) so i don't have to worry about being in anybody's way. and three, if his roommate is home - he knows more about cooking than i do. honestly. it's awesome. he taught me how to make bread. he told me the scientific reason behind why i don't like baked macaroni + cheese, and he's even taught me how to properly disinfect the kitchen. his name is justin (the friend/roommate), and i told him that i'm taking him with me when i get to register for wedding gifts because i think he knows more about pans than anyone i know. that justin is a good friend to have around.

they have caffeine-free diet coke at crest. they actually have it everywhere in utah. i had no idea. it tastes almost exactly the same. mom, you would be so proud.

well that's enough for today.

oh, but i would like your input on the blog thing. and the baby thing. like i said, i struggle.

xoxo.

jana

me + the boy

2010-03-05T09:04:00.000-08:00

maybe one of these days i'll quit calling him "the boy".

and maybe one of these days i'll actually post a picture where you can see his whole face.

but until that day, here's one of my favorites.

he's actually the only boy i've ever dated that i have pictures with. i never remember to take pictures of me in general, especially not with people i'm dating. he'll even hang in there for 20-ish minutes when i have the perfect picture i need to get of us with my camera timer. it's happened more than once.

he's a keeper.

xoxo.

jana

utah changed it's mind about spring and it started snowing yesterday. looks like it's card games and hot chocolate tonight :)

hope your weekend is lovely and warm.

jennifer.

2010-03-03T12:12:00.000-08:00

this is probably my favorite picture of my little sister. ever.

she's pretty much the best.

even when she beats me at bowling and then makes fun of me in front of our entire extended family for the next few days.

she's really good at text messaging. and writing notes. and planning parties.

in fact, she has become the self-proclaimed wedding planner, maid of honor, and bridesmaid art designer for my wedding. i'm not really sure what a bridesmaid art designer is, but jennifer has it covered.

everyone that knows her just loves her. i'm actually pretty sure that she has more friends than i do.

isn't she the cutest?

love you jen. come visit me again soon - i miss you already.

xoxo.

jana

one of the prettiest people i know.

2010-03-02T15:03:00.001-08:00

meet alexandra.

my roommate and fellow diet coke enthusiast.

she owns more plaid shirts than any one else i've met.

she's graduating in april with a degree in political science, and is heading down south to louisiana in june to teach middle school english.

she's pretty much one of the coolest people i know.

oh, and she likes to read.

oh, and she's smokin (smokin hot, that is).

following boot photo taken by the boy.

following photo posed and taken by the boy.

disclaimer (sort of):

my boyfriend is the best assistant/second shooter ever. seriously. i made sure to point out the pictures he specifically took himself, but i have to admit that half of these photos (the better half, even) were posed + styled by him. i was so impressed. and so glad to have him around. just thought i'd give credit where credit is due :)

the week of never before seen photos.

2010-03-01T00:58:00.000-08:00

i take a lot of pictures.

a lot.

there are 10,990 photos in my iphoto library alone. which doesn't include the pictures i started to put on my external hard drive.

anyway.

since i obviously have not posted 10,990 photos (and then some) on this blog of mine, that must mean i have lots and lots of fun + awesome pictures that i've been keeping to myself. my dad actually calls me a picture hoarder sometimes...

anyway.

but don't you worry (i know you were thinking about worrying, but don't). all this week i'll be posting never before seen photos. at least never before seen on this blog, because some other people have probably seen them.

like pictures from this wedding that i took in june (yikes) and more of this sweet baby

and to start off the week with a bang, a photo of me and one of my favorite roomies.

this picture was taken saturday.

my roommate asked if i would take some photos of her for her college graduation announcement. yes, i am seriously jealous that she will be graduating in 2 months. even though i should be graduating also. but that post will have to wait for another day.

back to the picture...

we got to a fun little location that i had seen when i was running the other day (more like months and months ago when i used to exercise, but i say the other day so it sounds like i'm still in shape). it was just me and the roommate at first, and the pictures were turning out wonderful. how could they not? she's a total babe.

then, the boy showed up.

he was going to be my assistant for the day and hold some reflectors and things for me, because all professionals have assistants that hold things. right? only, there was no sun. which meant i had nothing i needed him to hold. and since he wasn't holding anything, he decided to explore while i took pictures.

that's when he found the train.

and decided he needed to climb on top of the train.

he then decided he needed a picture of me climbing on top of the train.

and i decided i needed to take a picture with my roommate on the train.

and somehow that picture that i needed turned into the two of us thinking we are models and doing jana's sassy face, which resulted in this picture.

when i look at it, i can't tell whether i should think it's really cool, or whether i should laugh. maybe i should do both.

thoughts?

i will tell you one thing, it sure is nice dating a boy that knows his way around a fancy camera. you don't find one of those every day (meaning the boy, not the camera).

creamy chicken enchiladas.

2010-02-26T12:29:00.000-08:00

a recipe, as promised.

[ps. they look and taste WAY better in real life than what it looks like in this picture. it's really hard to get good pictures of food when you and 2 grown men are starving].

my mom used to make this for dinner when we were growing up, but for some reason i didn't like them then, i don't know why. so my mom stopped making them as much [my sister still blames me]. and because she stopped making them, i never really got to try them as an adult, now that i actually know what good food tastes like.

until, over the summer, i went to visit my boyfriend's family and his mom made them for sunday dinner. i couldn't tell her that i didn't like them, it would be rude and everyone would think i was weird. so i decided i would just eat them as best i could and fake a smile. but you know what? i actually liked them. it was a really exciting day for me.

then last week, i was craving chicken enchiladas like you would not believe. i e-mailed my mom for her recipe, but apparently she doesn't have one. she just throws stuff in as she goes. so that's what i did - with the help of my friend justin.

here's what you'll need:

12 tortillas

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

1 lb. container sour cream

2, 10 oz. cans of cream of chicken soup

1 can olives

9 oz. diced green chiles

3 c. grated cheese

first, preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

then, boil your chicken breasts. i had never boiled chicken before this, but it was so easy and they turned out so tender and delicious. boil for 10-15 minutes, until cooked all the way through.

if you use frozen chicken breasts, like we did, you may have to cook them for closer to 20 minutes. because if they look like this, they're not done.

feel free to use already cooked tortillas. but as for me, i love love love the raw tortillas that you have to cook yourself. so while the chicken was boiling, i cooked up 12 tortillas.

next, you'll want to mix together the sour cream and the 2 cans of cream of chicken soup.

then, add the green chiles. we used a 2oz. and a 7oz. can, and the spiciness was moderate. feel free to add more or less, depending on how spicy you would like your enchiladas to be. [i might add more next time].

and make sure you get lots of pictures of stirring in green chiles, because it is apparently exciting.

once this is stirred through, put about a cup of it aside to spread across the top later.

struggle opening a can of olives. or open it easily, it works either way.

slice the olives, and stir them into the filling mixture.

then, slice the chicken into bite size pieces, and stir them into the mixture as well.

now to the last, and most important, part. cheese. grate 3 cups of cheese - we used medium cheddar and pepperjack. mmm, pepperjack. only pour 2 of the 3 cups into the filling mixture; you'll use the remaining cup to spread across the top. stir it up and the filling is done!

put about this much mixture inside each tortilla.

fight a little bit over who gets to roll them up.

[i won. obviously].

roll up the enchilada.

and place it in a glass pan.

once the pan is full, spread the filling across the top - the cream cheese, cream of chicken soup, and green chile mixture you saved earlier. (sorry, we forgot to take a picture of that step).

then, sprinkle atop the cup of cheese you saved. yum.

put pan into the oven at 375 for 35 minutes.

my mouth is watering.

our 8x11 glass pan only fit 9 of the tortillas, but our filling made enough to fill 12. so we cooked the extra 3 in a little glass bread-sized pan.

and just fyi, these heat up to make amazing leftovers, and you can even freeze them, unthaw them, and bake them another day if you feel like making more than one batch.

happy cooking :)

just a little update.

2010-02-25T15:37:00.000-08:00

i've eaten AND showered today. successful day for me.

this gorgeous home is in scotland, designed by one of my favorite architects and designers that i've learned about in my history of architecture class.

i have a hot date lined up tonight. breakfast burritos and the dollar movies. life does not get much better, let me tell you.

stay tuned tomorrow for a delicious + fairly easy delicious recipe. you know, in case you don't know what to make for sunday dinner.

that's all. happy thursday.

today.

2010-02-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

[this is an old picture. diet coke and i are no longer speaking. let's change the subject, i'm sad about it]

happy wednesday:

wake up

pray

read scriptures in bed

start studying for my architecture test, in bed

realize that i can't study in my messy bedroom

start to organize messy bedroom

realize that i don't have time to do that

study in my messy bedroom

remember i had finance homework due today

do my finance homework

brush teeth

put on mascara and uggs

head out the door

head back in the door after i see the rain

grab an umbrella

head out the door, again

think about driving to campus so i can get a diet coke on the way

tell myself that i no longer drink diet coke

take the bus to campus

turn in finance homework

go to biology

study architecture while sitting in biology class

leave class for a minute to buy a chocolate milk out of a vending machine

go back to class and not pay attention while biology teacher is talking about coniferous forests, study instead

go to my architecture class

study more architecture

take architecture test

feel really really good about myself when i see a 91% and a 'great job' next to my id number on the testing center screen

like, really good.

have an awesome roommate offer to pick me up from campus so i don't have to wait for the next bus.

take up said awesome roommate on said offer

get home

change out of the clothes i was wearing all day (and also wore to bed. gross, i know)

fix hair

put on blush. and a little more mascara

see awesome boyfriend for not long enough at all (my fault, not his)

think about how handsome he looks when he wears ties. he does, just saying

go to church meeting

come back home

blog

in case you're wondering why i didn't list taking a shower or eating, it's because i didn't do those things today. oh how i love college [a little bit serious, but mostly sarcastic, in case you were wondering].

dear children of mine [that i don't have yet],

2010-02-22T16:44:00.000-08:00

[photo via jcrew]

first of all, i certainly hope you'll like cute clothes. chances are you'll be the most stylish kids on the street, and it would make my life a lot easier if you don't tear off your headbands or ties at the first opportunity you find. don't worry, i know how to sew - so your halloween costumes will always be fantastic. and i promise i won't mind when you start telling me your costume ideas in june - i will probably already be thinking about it.

when i was your age, the day after my birthday i would already be planning my party for the next year. so grandma made me follow a "you can't talk about your birthday until one month before" rule. i'll give you 2 months. i like parties.

i'll let you help in the kitchen, even if it means the job will take twice as long. you can sit on the counter, dump the ingredients into the bowl, and help me mix. you can even lick the beaters (someone needs to do it).

there will be warm chocolate chip cookies and milk waiting for you when you get home from school. except when your dad tells me i'm feeding you too much sugar, then we'll have apples and celery with peanut butter. i'll be so excited to hear about the things you are learning, and i will remember to tell you the funny things your little brother or sister did while you were away. you are going to be my little friends. i'll help you with your homework and read your school books so i can help you understand things that you are having trouble with. maybe we'll even have home school so i can be the one to teach you and making sure you are learning up to your full capability. we'll see :).

i can't wait to read you books - i hope you love books as much as i do. and on special nights, i will let you all snuggle in mom and dad's bed for storytime before it's time to sleep. sometimes, i'll even ask for your help in making our own stories about who knows what. see, i'll need your help.

every morning, we'll read the scriptures and pray as a family. at night, dad and i will tuck each of you in and help you pray. i can't wait to hear your sweet little prayers. before i go to bed, i'll already miss your voices and laughter and i'll have to quietly sneak into your rooms and check on you while you sleep, while i wonder what you're dreaming.

please don't be stinkers so your dad and i will like taking you on family trips. we'll have maps on the walls of our home with little pins denoting places that we've visited and places we want to go.

i'll let you learn whatever instruments you want - even if it's not my favorite. like the trombone. and i'll smile when i hear you trying your darndest, even if it sounds like an elephant is dying. i'll learn how to play the piano better before you get here so we can have one in our home. and i'll play church songs while you sing. just thinking about it makes me happy.

i don't like singing too much in front of people, but i will sing with you. and we will dance and play while we clean up the dishes or do chores to make it just a little more fun.

don't be too fed up with me when i ask you to hold still for picture 100. i promise you'll appreciate it later. trust me, you will love pictures. i'll get you cameras of your own so you can take pictures of things that are important to you. and when you get a little bigger, i'll take you for dates to the park or the beach and teach you how to use mom's fancy camera.

i can't wait to teach you things. i can't wait to teach you big words, and about history and the places we go to visit. but more importantly, i can't wait to teach you about the savior and to watch your testimony grow as you do.

some days may not be as good as others. mom may have a hard time. like if you decide to dump the bag of flour on the ground, or absolutely refuse to take a bath. but i promise that we will figure it all out and i will love you no matter what. i think about how much i love you already, without even meeting you, and can't imagine what it will be like to have you here. sometimes i will probably feel like my heart might just burst with all the love i have for you. which i'll try to remember when we're shopping at the grocery store and you keep wandering off, just like i did.

try not to get too sassy when we play card games as a family, i know where you get it from.

and don't be mad when i make you add sleeves to your prom dress.

i can't wait for you to be here so i can meet you and kiss your little cheeks. i take that back, they will be big cheeks. and i'm ok with that

i love you to the moon and back.

xoxo.
mom

we like bowling.

2010-02-19T12:23:00.000-08:00

my little sister, jen, and my mom were in town last weekend for a cousin's wedding. jennifer's one request from me and the boy was that we go bowling.

so he made her a coupon.

and bowling we went.

and jennifer beat me. she didn't even have bumpers. and it was embarrassing.

at least i look kind of cute when i bowl, right?

baby maximus.

2010-02-18T09:08:00.000-08:00

meet the newest member of the beck family.

i love him already.

he's 2 and a half weeks old and i need to meet him.

congratulations todd and heidi! (mostly heidi). he's beautiful

xoxo.

jana

love. love. love.

2010-02-17T10:10:00.000-08:00

i had the best intentions for valentine's day and this blog of mine. i was going to make all sorts of awesome valentine's cookies and cupcakes and post them here for inspiration...

but then my computer charger broke.

and my mom and sister came into town.

and my cousin got married.

and i got a sick boyfriend.

so i had to settle for a 3 day late picture of a cookie i made last year. maybe i'll get it right next time. [am i the only one that says that a lot?]

it only took 22 valentine's days for me to snag a valentine of my own. [really, this was my first february 14th with a valentine]. even being sick and practically immobile he managed to make it wonderful. more details on that later.

i hope you all had a lovely day as well.

what did you do to celebrate?

xoxo.

jana

so tired. should be sleeping.

2010-02-10T23:14:00.000-08:00

but instead i will dump the scattered contents of my brain onto this little blog of mine.

first. help. do you ever have moments where you know you're thinking crazy? i actually loathe the c word, whether it is warranted or not, so we'll just call them slightly irrational feelings for the sake of being nice. anyway, do you ever know that these feelings are slightly irrational, but you still almost want those feelings validated? you know, just a simple "it totally makes sense that you would feel that way." or does validation just facilitate having those c word feelings? oh goodness.

moving on, see the above photo? definitely sewed that man's tailored shirt. from scratch. feel free to congratulate me. remember this post? i decided to scratch everyone's advice and sew the shirt for myself. because i'm selfish, kind of. i wore it with a big brown belt around my waist and my favorite boots - i was quite the fashionista that day, an exciting moment for me. too bad i've only worn it once since.

speaking of the above photo... 1. i am wearing shorts. 2. i like to take pictures when i have cute days [only because it doesn't happen very often]. sometimes i'll even send them to a certain boy while he's at work. partly because it makes him happy, and partly because i feel like sending him cute pictures of me will make him more excited to see me later. win win, right?

my mom and my little sister are driving up from california. they should be here in an hour or so. i'm slightly debating driving down to my grandma's at 1 in the morning so i can see them as soon as they get here - i am just so excited. i love my family. my little sister, jen, has down syndrome, and she cracks me up sometimes. for example, i called my mom's phone tonight to see where they were, but my mom was sleeping so jen answered the phone. [i should clarify that my aunt and uncle are driving the car, my mom was not asleep at the wheel nor was my down syndrome sister driving]. anyway, i told jen to ask what city there were in, so i would know how much longer they would be. after we got off the phone, she felt the need to send me text messages telling me the cities they were passing through. she is actually quite the texter, and at first i thought it was my mom. until i got this text "The city wyldetrness we be there in 3 hours". does anyone know what city that is? apparently it's 3 hours from provo :)

my little bed that i sleep in has been making my back hurt. which is partly why i'm blogging right now and not sleeping. in fact, i'll probably sleep on our couch. it is SO much better than my bed. sad.

i did a little desktop detox today. meaning, i organized the assortment of scattered photos that i drag from the internet into a folder called 'pretty things'. for some reason, boys find this really funny. but really, that's exactly what they are. things i think are pretty. not funny. practical.

i have been itching to take some couple photos lately. if you know any attractive couples, send them my way. you'd think i'd have a million friends getting engaged up in utah, but apparently they're all anti-marriage. kidding.

my sister-in-law had her baby last sunday and i am dying to meet him. and dying to have babies. in fact, on facebook the other day, i posted something about being my new nephew's favorite aunt and my young women president from high school commented on it saying "someone please find a cute boy for jana to marry so she can make cute babies of her own." i about died laughing.

speaking of babies, i have been having the worst feelings lately that i'm not going to be able to get pregnant. i've never really been concerned about it until this week. for some odd reason. am i completely ridiculous for even worrying about this right now, or is it normal? [say normal].

i want a cupcake.

more specifically, i want one of these cupcakes. i ate about 10 when my sister made them.

also, i quit diet coke. ok, well i haven't had one in a week which is the best i've done in a while. but i have mixed feelings about it. it makes me happy for the following reasons: it will make my mom happy, and according to her i will get blessings, and i started getting headaches all the time lately and i'm thinking it has to do with the caffeine, so i'll be happy if those stop. i'm sad about it for the following reasons: i miss it. it's like i had to give up a really good friend that would bring a little light into my life whenever i was having a bad day. plus, every time my roommate, alexandra, brings home her crest cup my heart breaks a little. it's like i know that she still gets to hang out with that awesome friend that i miss when i can't. stay strong, jana. stay. strong.

i want to write a book. i have a few ideas. if i get famous and have a book signing, i certainly hope you'll come :)

[oops. this post was way long. does anyone even read to the end when i write so much? i know my sister doesn't. she told me so.]

it's nice having a boy around.

2010-02-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

[the oregon coast. august 2009]

a boy that will build you a fire when you're on the beach.

or teach you that gas evaporates way faster out of your tank when you don't have a gas cap and not laugh too hard at you when he realizes you had absolutely no idea. oops.

to bring you a cheeseburger, just the way you like it, when you have class until 7. then won't make too many sarcastic comments while you and your roommates watch the bachelor.

who tells you in a very kind way that you're not allowed to eat any more peanut m&m's because you said you wanted to eat less sugar.

to give you a piggyback ride across the ice-covered grass before you get to the stairs.

and tells his friends to try the bacon-wrapped chicken you brought to their house to watch the super bowl.

a boy that will stay up much later than he wanted to play card games, just because he knows you want to.

or picks you up from campus because you've been there all day studying for midterms, even if it means driving 20 minutes just to see you for an hour.

and when you tell him to pick the drink he wants in the burger king drive thru, he orders a diet coke. because he knows that's what you would choose. even though he thinks it's disgusting.

yes. i certainly like having this boy around.

edited: he even reads my blog and tells me when i accidentally use a double negative in my post so i can fix it.

this is how i feel today.

2010-02-05T09:53:00.000-08:00

skip to about 1 minute if you don't feel like listening to adam sandler

something about the words, his voice, and the way they are almost celebrating just fills my heart.

you and me together, we can do anything.

i'm pretty sure this is how love is supposed to feel.

sticking with books.

2010-02-03T23:00:00.001-08:00

my desktop is messy.

because every time i see a photo of something i like, i drag it onto my desktop to be sorted later into my 'pretty things' folder. really, that's what it's called.

so tonight i decided to click on one of the thumbnails and post it here. this was it.

i would absolutely love love love my life if i had this bookshelf in my home. as in, i WILL love my life when i have this bookshelf in my home.

complete with the ladder and everything.

i would feel like belle from the beauty of the beast every day. i'm pretty sure that's been my goal in life since i was 5-years old. [the bookshelf with the ladder, i mean, not the whole marrying a beast thing].

no pictures to prove it.

2010-02-02T14:11:00.000-08:00

the other night i wanted to make dinner. a fancy dinner. something i've never made before.

so i went to the grocery store. i bought salmon. the fish-man weighed it and wrapped it up in white paper. i felt so grown up buying fish wrapped in paper. i picked up a few more things. squash. tomatoes. lemon. garlic. rosemary. pasta. a pre-made alfredo sauce (sorry for cheating a little). and cream.

it was the best dinner i've ever made.

baked salmon. oven-roasted vegetables. on top of pasta with a semi-homemade rosemary cream sauce.

heaven.

only, i have no pictures to prove it.

the female brain.

2010-01-29T10:08:00.000-08:00

let me tell you why i love my mother.

the last time she came to visit, she brought me this book and told me to read it, except for the sex chapter. so i read that chapter first.

let me tell you, this book was SO interesting. even more interesting were the lines in the book that i came across every now and then that my mom had whited out. only, i was so curious about what would have been so bad for her to cover up, that i would hold the pages up to the light so i could see what was under the white out. that probably defeated the purpose. sorry mom.

but back to the book. it was written by a neuropsychiatrist who explains the way womens' brains are wired and operate - from the birth of the female brain, to the mommy brain, to the mature female brain. the book is a combination of findings from various articles and books, along with accounts of patients from her clinic and explains what is occurring in the female brain during each phase of her life.

read it. you will love it.

and it will make you feel a lot less crazy.

i have this problem.

2010-01-26T14:45:00.000-08:00

i like to read. [that's not the problem, in case you were wondering].

the problem is that i would rather read a book about the constitution for my own satisfaction than read from my biology textbook for school. i think i'm just taking the wrong kind of classes.

if i read as much for my classes as i do for leisure, i would probably be getting straight a's. but it's only the first month of the semester - still plenty of time for studying up on plant reproduction [kill me].

my recent reads include:

the tipping point

the female brain

the screwtape letters

and the time traveler's wife

right now i'm working on the 5,000 year leap.

my goal is to read at least one book each month this year, including church books.

so what should be next on my list? i would love your suggestions...

xoxo.

jana

grilled cheese reinvented.

2010-01-21T22:14:00.000-08:00

[photo taken by me. you better believe it. how are my food styling skills coming along?]

the best thing since grilled cheese sandwiches...

is a grilled cheese sandwich made on sourdough bread.

with pepperjack cheese.

avocado.

bacon.

and apple slices.

yes, apple slices.

i am obsessed.

christmas in california.

2010-01-19T17:44:00.000-08:00

a long time ago my dad bought me some reflectors for my photography.

when i was home in december, he told me i should probably pull them out and use them sometime.

so on christmas, with my cousins, i did.

ps. i never have any one take pictures of me, so this was kind of exciting.

[britney, my grumpy assistant]

[the one on the right was my favorite picture all day]

[then it started getting dark because we took so long getting ready]

[oh. and here's me]

dear husband [that i don't have yet],

2010-01-13T16:40:00.000-08:00

i was thinking about you today.

i spent a few hours painting today - sitting on the floor, then on the couch - and my back was not very happy with that set-up. which made me think: husband, i certainly hope our home will have an art studio for me.

so i kept thinking. of all the other wonderful things our home will have. white cabinets and lots of windows in the kitchen. a breakfast nook. a red front door. or maybe a black one. i'll let you choose. a neverland playroom with a giant treasure map painted on the wall...

then i started to feel bad for you. and not just because of the handy-man role you'll have in our marriage. you see husband [that i don't have yet], i hate to admit this, but sometimes i can be needy. sometimes i get sad for no reason and i will need you to help me be happy. some days my hair will absolutely not do what i want it to, and i will need you to tell me i look pretty anyway. sometimes i may not feel like getting out of bed in the morning, and you might need to give me a little push - possibly a literal one.

like i said. i am needy. you can't say i didn't warn you.

i will need you to say 'i love you' every day.

and i will need you to dance with me in the kitchen when i don't feel like starting on the dishes yet.

i will need you to tickle me when i'm mad at you for beating me in a game. [you beating me probably won't happen very often though, unless it's a stupid game that i probably didn't want to play in the first place, just saying].

and i might need you to carry me to bed when i fall asleep on the couch during a movie.

but before you go running off, i promise that being married to me will have it's fair share of benefits.

i promise i'll kiss you a lot. [and i mean a lot]. and you'll probably like it. who am i kidding? i know you'll like it. we'll probably do lots of other things too, but i can't talk about that here because my mom will get mad at me. you know, like play board games and stuff.

speaking of board games, i'm a pretty awesome person to have on your team. 9 times out of 10, we'll win. pictionary, disney scene it, even other things like bowling or miniature golf, you name it... all of the other couples at game night will be pretty jealous of our awesomeness.

i make a pretty mean lasagna - even though i stole the recipe from my mom. i bet even if you don't like lasagna that much you will like mine. i actually can make lots of good dinners. and if you tell me you don't like casseroles with cooked broccoli in them, i promise i will use something different. and if there is a good football game on tv, i won't even mind if you want to watch it instead of helping [just don't get carried away]. i will make you whatever dessert you want for your birthday, and probably for lots of your unbirthdays as well.

i will say lots of stupid things and won't get mad when you laugh.

i will give you lots of pretty babies.

and i will always make you happy. i promise. even if it means rubbing your back when it feels like the longest 10 minutes of my life.

i like to think that it's a pretty good deal. in fact, i'm making lasagna tomorrow if you would like to come for dinner.

xoxo.

jana

family pictures.

2010-01-11T22:04:00.000-08:00

i've been a terrible blogger. long story.

so here are a few family pictures i've taken over the past few months to make up for my little hiatus.

last christmas eve.

2009-12-24T19:59:00.000-08:00

i was running around the streets of san francisco with some of my favorite cousins.

this christmas eve i've spent most of the day sleeping, trying to feel a little better than i have the last 2 days. welcome home to me!

luckily, i feel a little better today than i did yesterday. here's hoping to feeling even better tomorrow in time for christmas.

hope everyone's holidays are lovely and sickness-free :)

xoxo.

jana

it's fun taking pictures of people you know really well.

2009-12-23T15:12:00.001-08:00

exhibit a.

let it snow.

2009-12-18T06:35:00.000-08:00

if you look really close, you can see little snow flakes in my hair.

the snow is actually all melting off of the ground, and it's sad.

yes, it is hard having such pretty roommates. i need to make friends with uglier people to help out my self-esteem.

we wanted to make a christmas card, and we took this picture outside our favorite family restaurant. j dawgs. it's a hot dog joint. i know what you're thinking... hot dogs are only acceptable at baseball games, camp outs, and when you're really hungry at a ward activity - but j dawgs defies all laws of hot dogs. it is honestly that good. our outfits actually coordinated very well, but it was so cold that the roommates left their jackets on and we decided this would do. we didn't make a christmas card, but at least we have a picture of the 3 of us.

i'm tired. tired tired. i didn't go to sleep last night. i have 2 finals today. and then i'm taking a deep breath. i swear, each semester is more and more stressful and i don't get it. i keep thinking my life will calm down, but then it doesn't

if i had a nickel for every time someone said "jana, things like that don't happen to people in real life" i would have a million dollars. really. i'm going to write a book about how ridiculous my life is. i'm pretty sure right now i'm living out the notebook. probably a little too much info for the blog, but whatever... nicholas sparks makes it look way too easy.

i wish i was flying to california today. december 22nd please come soon.

i have a christmas dinner party every year with my girlfriends from high school. one of my favorite parts is handmaking and sending out the invitations. i didn't do it this year. and i'm sad. maybe i'll make some and mail them out tomorrow - they'll probably get to everyone the day after the party. hmmm. oh well. there's always next year.

when is it too early in the morning to drink diet coke? i didn't go to sleep, so 8am doesn't really apply to me, right?

my mom sends me funny things in e-mails. and then i'm bad at e-mailing back. but mom, i think you're funny. [blog posts are better than e-mails because everyone can read them, so this covers a few of my non-responses].

sometimes i straighten my hair specifically so i don't have to wash it for a few days but i know it will still look nice. i did that on wednesday. hello third day hair. it's finals week, lay off me.

i have been crying every day lately. every day. there is something wrong with me. i went a whole year without crying once, and this last month i have been a basket case. i remember that no-crying year though, and i thought something was wrong with me then too. no really, i remember sitting in my car one day after a track meet in high school thinking 'i want to cry. cry jana. i don't want to forget how.' i'm so weird. anyway, i wonder which is worse.

i've lost over 10 lbs in the last couple months. which is weird. one, because i don't know how. and two, i don't look any skinnier so i'm pretty sure i've just lost all muscle. but there's still something very fulfilling about seeing a number on the scale that's under 130.

i have to go do a painting and study and take 2 finals in the next couple hours. awesome.

dear 2010,

please come quick and bring me happy things. just saying.

xoxo.

jana

my little men.

2009-12-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

aren't my nephews adorable? my future kids have some serious competition in the cuteness department when it comes to the beck grandkids.

if i've learned anything from watching these boys grow up, it's to start training them young. in front of the camera, i mean. really, how many 3-year-olds know how to pose in front of the camera with their hands in their pockets? way to go melissa :)

can i ask you a personal question?

2009-12-16T02:34:00.000-08:00

i know there are a few married folks that read my blog. some of you i know, and others i don't. either way, i need to ask you something...

how did you know your mister was 'the one'? flash of lightning? tidal wave? pillar of light?

if you don't mind sharing, i would love to hear... you can consider it your small act of service for the day - helping out a 20-something-year-old girl with a lot on her mind.

mike + carolyn

2009-12-15T11:22:00.001-08:00

this is mike and carolyn. they're getting married next month. im pretty sure they're happy about it.

ps. just know that if you ever call me to take engagement pictures, i will make you kiss. you've been warned.

brunch at our house.

2009-12-11T10:58:00.000-08:00

sometimes we have quiche and drink egg nog out of wine glasses.

it's romantic.

for the fabulous quiche recipe i used, go here. my sister is a culinary genius.

dear fedex,

2009-12-08T14:30:00.001-08:00

i know i shouldn't use the word hate, but i hate you for putting a hole through this painting.

you don't deserve x's and o's,

jana

ps. my sister-in-law had me do this painting for her sister who is getting married this summer. she wanted with browns instead of the traditional black & white with a color background. pretty sweet.

oh baby.

2009-12-04T11:14:00.000-08:00

no one can blame me for wanting babies when i take pictures of little pieces of heaven like this.

remember this giveaway? well the mother of this little angel won, and asked if she could redeem her prize after he was born. he's only 10 days old in this photo and i pretty much am in love with it.

thanks so much for letting me come and take these, jessica! it was definitely worth skipping class for.

christmas pajamas.

2009-12-01T23:46:00.000-08:00

check.

[i can't believe i forgot to put christmas pjs on the list]

it's 12:46am.

i can't go to sleep because there are things i need to do. like write a 7-page paper. wait. my roommate's paper is 7 pages. mine is 10. dang, it's worse than i thought.

thank you, target, for your one-piece pajamas. you've made my all-nighter bearable.

xoxo.

jana

thinking december.

2009-11-30T16:33:00.000-08:00

i spent 7 straight hours on campus today. and i forgot to eat breakfast, so i definitely didn't eat anything until i got home 30 minutes ago. no bueno.

after a quesadilla and a couple deep breaths, i realized that december starts tomorrow. the other night, my roommate and i decided that we want to do something festive every day of december, leading up to christmas. so we started making a list. [i love lists]. here's what we have so far:

see the lights at temple square

make and hang-up christmas stockings

drink hot chocolate with homemade marshmellows

decorate a christmas tree

wrap our gifts for a little girl in need

watch 'a muppet christmas carol'

make apartment christmas cards

build gingerbread houses

take a drive to check out the neighborhood lights

have a roommate 'christmas' dinner

write goals for 2010

make christmas sugar cookies

go to a christmas concert

make a wreath for the door

take 'family' pictures [our apartment family]

hang mistletoe

christmas caroling

serve food at the homeless shelter

so what am i missing?

what are your favorite traditions for the month of december?

suggestions are welcome :)

xoxo.

jana

thanksgiving for two.

2009-11-28T08:17:00.001-08:00

dear alexandra's mom,

don't worry. we ate real thanksgiving food.

xoxo.

jana

ps. really though, it was incredibly exciting to make a thanksgiving meal in it's entirety and not ruin anything. alexandra and i were pretty dang proud of ourselves.

baking our first chicken - check.

[don't shower and wash your face in said shower after chopping an onion and rubbing a chicken down with a clove of garlic. probably common sense, but we all make mistakes. mostly me though].

cooking stuffing for the first time - check.

[thanks for the help, dad].

bacon wrapped asparagus. yum.

we finished our thanksgiving off with 44 oz. diet cokes and julie & julia at the dollar movies.

bring it on december.

life is good.

pss. i brought the music back. if it's really annoying and irritating, feel free to tell me. i know the first 3 songs are probably old news, but i've been listening to them over and over again the last few days. in that order too. not sure why.

the best things in life.

2009-11-25T13:07:00.000-08:00

uggs.

diet coke.

and season 4 of the office on dvd.

have a lovely thanksgiving :)

looking forward to...

2009-11-18T10:32:00.000-08:00

lunch today with a friend.

glee tonight. and the finale of project runway tomorrow.

a very exciting sewing project i can hopefully finish up this weekend.

a few days without school next week. time to paint my heart out and dive into all the fabulous photos i took over the weekend. not to mention, sleeping more than 5 hours a night.

possibly hosting my first thanksgiving dinner. [or pre-thanksgiving dinner, which is just as cool and exciting].

december already. i didn't get enough kisses from these boys when i was home over the weekend.

attempting my first quilt.

egg nog and candy cane hugs.

snow [the looking at it, not being cold], christmas trees and lights and being able to listen to christmas music without feeling guilty. plus making my roommates and myself stockings and decorating the apartment.

a new nephew in february and another new nephew/niece [hopefully niece] in april.

a trip to new york in the spring.

xoxo.

jana

i love when pretty families ask me to take their picture.

2009-11-14T20:52:00.000-08:00

5 pretty families in one weekend. more where these came from.

what i don't love is that i have to go back to utah tomorrow where it is apparently going to be 13 degrees. no thank you.

southwestern chicken chowder.

2009-11-11T23:24:00.000-08:00

the food styling in this picture is terrible. that's what happens when you have 5 minutes to snap a photo before you need to leave for the airport, and you know the rest of the soup will definitely be gone by the time you get back.

over the summer, i went to a friend's birthday dinner at the california pizza kitchen restaurant. i was so hungry that i ordered a bowl of soup to tide me over until my pizza was ready. they came out at the same time. but after one bite of the soup, i was not even mad.

since the weather started turning cold, i started craving this chowder. so i tried to recreate it. i looked up their description on the internet, and then i found a few recipes that were pretty similar.

attempt 1 = rice. good rice, but rice nonetheless.

attempt 2 = soupy rice. seriously! but don't worry. this time, i fixed it. and it was fabulous.

so if it's getting cold wherever you are and you feel like a spicy+creamy something to warm you up - here you go.

just a disclaimer before i start: there are 2 reasons why i will never have my own cooking show. 1) i am terrible at writing recipes - i apologize. 2) i always cut and burn myself in the kitchen. i did both while making this soup. moving along...

this is what you'll need:

2 T canola oil

1 medium white onion, peeled and diced

4 cloves of garlic, minced

1 or 2 red bell peppers, seeded and thinly sliced

1 can (4oz) fire-roasted chilies

3 small jalapeno peppers, seeded and finely chopped

paprika

cumin

chili powder

freshly ground black pepper

1-2 boneless chicken breasts, thinly sliced

2 quarts (8 cups) chicken broth

2 cups corn [i used frozen corn and it tasted fine]

3/4 cup white basmati rice

1 cup heavy whipping cream

1/2 cup flour

1 lime

10 sprigs cilantro, finely chopped

salt

corn tortillas [optional, but awesome]

1. in a large pot, saute the white onion, garlic, and red pepper in the canola oil until vegetables begin to soften. add the chilies and jalapeno peppers. then add the spices: 1 t. paprika, 1 t. chili powder, 1/2 t. cumin, 1/2 t. ground black pepper. continue to cook until vegetables are heated through.

2. add chicken, turning the pieces until they are fully cooked. or cook chicken separately and add it to the sauteed vegetables.

3. pour in 1 quart (4 cups) of chicken broth and bring to a boil. stir in the corn and rice, reducing the heat to a simmer and let cook until rice is tender [30-45 minutes].

4. chances are, the rice drank up all your soup and there is hardly any broth left. so go ahead and add the other quart (4 cups) of chicken broth. then stir in the cream and flour to thicken it up. finally, add the cilantro and the juice of 1 lime.

5. then, add more spices. depending on how spicy you want it... i pretty much just added all the spices in a second time: 1 t. paprika, 1 t. chili powder, 1/2 t. cumin, 1/2 t. ground black pepper. then, add a teaspoon or two of salt, to taste.

6. if you feel like being really cool, slice a few corn tortillas into strips and fry them in a little pot of incredibly hot canola oil. these can go on top for a little crunch and a cute garnish. feel free to throw some extra sprigs of cilantro on top too.

enjoy.

feel free to ask questions and let me know if you try it!

the sun will come out...

2009-11-10T21:23:00.001-08:00

tomorrow.

because i'll be on a plane to see some of my favorite little people in the world.

and some of my favorite big people too.

can't wait.

ps. stay tuned for an awesome soup recipe tomorrow. it was actually soup this time :)

fall thoughts.

2009-11-09T13:44:00.001-08:00

i'm not very good at photographing nature - i need people in my pictures. but the other day i tried anyway and got this one. i'm kind of proud of it.

i'm ok, i promise. diet coke works wonders. [my dad calls dr. pepper his antidepressant. we're related]. but thank you so so much for your sweet comments and e-mails. you guys are the best.

it's only 3:00, but today has been a really good day. reading my scriptures and working out in the morning is even more effective for happiness than diet coke. [no brainer].

i'm supposed to go home on thursday, and i have so so much to do before then. and i mean SO much. [ps. if you're in the bay area and want some pictures taken this weekend - e-mail me. it will be fun, promise].

i have a bajillion ideas for paintings bouncing around this little head of mine. now to find the time to translate those ideas to the canvas. i'm painting today. i mean it.

i think i'm going to try to make soup again today. keep your fingers crossed that it comes out soup this time.

the fall leaves in utah are starting to disappear. it's sad. one, because i love love fall. two, it's going to start getting colder real soon. i'm not so much a fan of cold.

does anyone watch project runway? because i am so so happy with the final 3 - definitely who i would have picked. i have a feeling irina is going to win. i know she is kind of a mean little woman, but you have to admit that she is good. i'm secretly pulling for carol hannah though - she doesn't really have the 'air' of a fashion designer - but i would wear everything i've seen her put down the runway. sigh. maybe one day ill be cool enough to be on that show. i am taking patternmaking next semester :)

i lost 8 pounds last month. i'm not being the least bit facetious when i say that i don't really know how it happened. especially after finding this recipe. but i'll take it. [by the way, if you haven't tried making these yet, you need to. you will thank me - i promise. i've lost 8 pounds. you can trust me. they're magic cupcakes].

this next one is really random, but it's my blog so i do what i want. i had never realized before today that there are specific washing instructions on the tags of certain underwear. true story. apparently the underwear i'm wearing today are supposed to be tumble dried and removed promptly. because heaven forbid my underwear sit in the dryer a little too long and wrinkle.

is it bad that one of my favorite things about thanksgiving is that you get to start getting ready for christmas as soon as it's over? poor thanksgiving. i really do love you for other reasons too.

i'm going to paint.

right now.

maybe i'll shower first.

or maybe i won't.

xoxo.

jana

i usually don't post on sundays.

2009-11-08T17:13:00.001-08:00

but can we just talk about how much i love this picture?

a diet coke kind of day.

2009-11-05T21:40:00.000-08:00

[mom, don't judge me for drinking caffeine].

it was just one of those days...

you know what i'm talking about.

it was the kind of day that just didn't get off to the right start. you get up much later than you had planned, because the night before was terrible. and the last thing you want to do is get out of your warm bed and face the day ahead of you.

but you do.

and you put your pink robe over your pajamas, slip on your uggs, and make cinnamon rolls for your group project meeting. only your cinnamon rolls don't rise. of course they don't. and they're dense and gross and your frosting has chunks of cream cheese that won't smooth out.

and then it's time for school. and you spend 4-ish hours in the basement of a school building with no cell phone service and all you accomplish is getting your pattern cut out and a wimpy pocket sewn on.

and there was probably 100 moments in the day where your eyes just started to well up with tears, without any provoking at all. and it takes every ounce of your self-control to keep those tears from falling. and all day long you wonder if last night you made a huge mistake, and all you can do is hope and pray that everything will just work out.

you make it home. to an empty apartment. because apparently your roommates have lives.

so you decided to change out of the sweats and tennis shoes you wore to school, and you get cute. because that should make you feel better. only you swear that last week you were so excited about the 5 pounds you lost, and today they all decided to come back.

but hey, at least now you're wearing mascara and you smell nice, so you decide to be supportive of a friend and go to his comedy show. only you drive all the way across town to find out you went to the wrong place.

and that's when you need a diet coke. in the worst way.

thank goodness for the crest gas station's drive through and $1.10 refills.

ryan. melissa + boys

2009-11-03T14:47:00.000-08:00

this is my brother's family.

ryan is in school to be a chiropractor. melissa is really good at making cute little boys [i'm sure she's good at making cute little girls too]. their 3 boys are some of my favorite little people in the world. i love them. it doesn't hurt that they look great in pictures.

i took these in april. i even posted them in april, but i decided that it didn't do these photos justice.

can't wait to see you guys in a week and a half.

soup gone wrong.

2009-11-02T11:37:00.001-08:00

i wanted soup last night for dinner.

so i decided to make some.

but i added too much rice.

obviously.

oh well, people still ate it. and liked it.

pumpkin cupcakes.

2009-10-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

[yes. this is my picture. i'm working on my food styling/photography skills - what do you think?]

fall is my favorite season. maybe it's because i love all things pumpkin.

the other night, my roommate and i decided to have a little bake-fest [she's my sous chef/cooking prodigy - i love it].

we googled 'pumpkin cupcakes', and martha stewart's recipe was the first to pop up. let me just tell you, martha does not disappoint.

there wasn't a frosting recipe, so i took the liberty of using a cream cheese frosting recipe that i now have memorized. excellent choice on my part, if i do say so myself.

[the recipe makes about 20 cupcakes. i had to make another batch so i could take some pictures].

martha stewart's pumpkin cupcakes

2 c. flour

1 t. baking soda

1 t. baking powder

1 t. coarse salt

1 t. ground cinnamon

1 t. ground ginger

1/4 t. nutmeg

1/4 t. ground allspice

1 c. packed brown sugar

1 c. sugar

1 c. (2 sticks) butter, melted and cooled

4 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 can (15 oz) pumpkin puree

directions:

1. preheat oven to 350 degrees. line cupcake pans with paper liners. set aside. in a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and allspice. set aside. [don't worry if you don't have all the right spices. we didn't have allspice, so i just doubled the amount of nutmeg].

2. separately, whisk together, brown sugar, granulated sugar, butter, and eggs. add dry ingredients, and whisk until smooth. [i apparently can't read recipes, and just softened my butter instead of melting it - it still worked great]. whisk in pumpkin puree. [the recipe calls for 15 oz. of pumpkin puree, which is actually half of of the cans of pumpkin you find at most stores].

3. divide batter evenly among liners, filling each about halfway to 3/4 full. bake approximately 20 minutes, until toothpick comes out clean. [in my oven it was almost exactly 20 minutes].

cream cheese frosting

1/2 c. butter, softened

1 pkg. (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened

1 t. vanilla

3 1/2 c. powdered sugar

directions:

cream butter and cream cheese together until smooth. add vanilla. then add powdered sugar. it will be too thick to use regular beaters after you add the powdered sugar, just fyi. hope you have a kitchenaid. or you don't mind using your muscles. i pipe my frosting out of a re-usable featherweight piping bag i purchased at michael's. and this recipe makes exactly the right amount needed to frost one batch of these cupcakes.

enjoy!

xoxo.

jana

ps. i weighed less the day after i made these. they're magic cupcakes.

a sewing dilemma.

2009-10-28T01:25:00.000-07:00

ps. i have not gained weight. contrary to what this photo might lead you to believe.

so what is this, you ask?

it's a low-quality photo, taken by my computer, of a zip-up hoody that i sewed. from scratch [i don't really know if you would say you sewed something 'from scratch'. oh well].

i'm taking a sewing class at school, and this was our first project. it's a little emo. the fabric has skulls. i finished it today. no tears were shed in the process [i came close], but there was some blood - that's a whole different story.

now i'm on to project number 2. which is where i need your help.

project 2 is a men's tailored shirt.

i'm making it for the boy.

it will be a 20-ish hour investment. seriously.

my teacher told me to make sure and inform him that if we were to break up, i would need the shirt back. seriously, she did. [i told him, and he didn't think it was very nice].

anyway, here is my dilemma. i had wanted to make the shirt out of very high-quality fabric. if i'm going to invest that much time into constructing an article of clothing, i want everything about it to be high quality. that way, when the boy wears it, he will happily tell everyone in the vicinity that his woman made it for him. because she is awesome.

but today, i went to the fabric store.

and the high quality fabric i had wanted was expensive.

and i mean expensive.

like $50 for the amount of fabric i need - that kind of expensive.

[ok, maybe that doesn't sound like a lot, because you would pay a lot more for it in the store. but think about that + 20 hours worth of my time. that's a lot of value. plus, i'm cheap].

so here's the thing. the money is not the major deterrent in my not wanting to spring for the awesome fabric. it's more the, what if i mess up? or what if it doesn't even fit him well and he never wants to wear it in public? i would kick myself for splurging on the pique - that's the fabric that feels like heaven.

so then i thought, maybe i'll make the shirt out of a not-so-awesome fabric... and then, if i mess up, it's not a big deal. and if it doesn't fit him perfectly, it's not a big deal. and then i can know how to make a second shirt of perfection, which i can construct out of the fabric that better be laced with 24-carat gold thread for how much it costs. plus, i'll then have an instant christmas present.

but what if the first shirt turns out perfect? but i made it out of crappy fabric, so the boy definitely isn't going to want to show it off to anyone.

this post is way too long. and i have obviously put way too much thought into this.

so - for all you seamstresses out there [or you can pretend] - what would you do? have faith in your seamstress skills and go for the big girl fabric? or hope you have 20 more hours of sewing left in you to make the real deal after you do one for practice?

if you help me, i'll bring you a cupcake.

or mail it to you.

seriously, i have 40 sitting on my kitchen counter.

xoxo.

jana

winner winner, chicken dinner.

2009-10-27T23:46:00.000-07:00

a random number generator told me to pick #6.

so i did.

Jessica said...

ooh, pick me please! I'm having a baby in December and would love for you to take some shots of him when he's still a newborn. I live in Utah too.

October 20, 2009 1:12 PM

yay for you jessica! e-mail me and we will make this thing happen.

ps. i can't even tell you how excited i am to do some newborn shots. i thought i would have to wait until february when my newest little nephew will be born :)

pss. stay tuned for a wednesday recipe i will be posting later today. i'm baking up something right now. at 12:47 am.

baked rigatoni.

2009-10-21T10:40:00.001-07:00

remember how i dreamt about pasta?

well, after i woke up, i thumbed through the better homes and gardens cookbook my roommate left on our kitchen counter and found the pasta of my dreams. [and by pasta of my dreams, literally, i mean i found a pasta recipe exactly like what i had dreamt].

so i made it for dinner.

it was amazingly delicious for how simple it was to make. really.

i have a fabulous cook of a friend who i wanted to try it so i could have an expert's opinion. he said he gave himself a stomach ache from eating it so fast - that's how good it was.

i also had the best intentions of taking some beautifully styled photos of the meal as well - which didn't happen. we ate it too fast. i was lucky i even got one. oh well, there's always next wednesday!

here's the recipe:

7 ounces dried cavatelli or wagon wheel pasta [i used rigatoni. which is why i changed the recipe name]

12 ounces uncooked italian sausage, sliced 1/2 inch thick

3/4 cup chopped onion [1 medium]

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 26-ounce jar pasta sauce

1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese [or more than a cup. whatever]

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1. cook pasta according to package directions. drain. set aside

2. in a large skillet, cook the sausage, onion, and garlic until sausage is brown. remove from skillet. drain. [my amazing cook friend told me that if you boil the sausage first, it is easier to slice before browning. i'll have to try that next time].

3. in a large bowl, stir together pasta sauce, 3/4 cup of the mozzarella cheese [or more than that], and the pepper. add the cooked pasta and the sausage mixture. stir gently to combine. spoon the mixture into a 2-quart casserole dish.

4. bake, covered, in a 375 degree oven for 25 to 30 minutes or until nearly heated through [you'll know when it's ready because the edges will be bubbling]. uncover; sprinkle the remaining 1/4 cup mozzarella cheese [or more than that - i like cheese. leave me alone]. bake about 5 minutes more until cheese is melted.

and voila - thank you better homes and gardens!

ps. you can still enter the giveaway below.

a giveaway: because i feel like taking pictures.

2009-10-20T11:15:00.000-07:00

[i just used this picture because i thought it was funny].

my camera is getting dusty again. i have lots of people that tell me they need some pictures, and i even have a few sessions lined up in the next few weeks, but i feel like doing some pictures just for fun.

so i'm giving away a photo session - any kind you want. family, kids, engagements, or just because you feel like you're good looking... everyone can use more pictures of themselves.

all you need to do is enter a comment below and i'll pick a winner randomly in a few days.

seriously.

if you live in the utah county area, that would be awesome...

or if you're in the bay area, california area that works too [i'll be visiting soon].

feel free to enter even if you live somewhere else. i could probably use a vacation.

this will be fun.

ready, set, go.

i decided to start posting paintings on mondays.

2009-10-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

face of friday: my awesome mother.

2009-10-16T16:46:00.000-07:00

yesterday, my mom flew into utah for a weekend visit. and 9 days ago was her birthday. so i thought it would be more than appropriate to share what makes judy beck so awesome.

1. she gave birth to 7 pretty cool children - #6 being the coolest [me].

2. she has the best pie recipes ever. ever. and this woman does not hide her talents under a bushel. 90% of the city of fremont knows how awesome my mom's pies are. in fact, thanks to my mother, i thought giving pies to people was just a standard life practice. the first time i went to a boy's house for dinner i brought an apple pie - they laughed at me.

3. her lasagna recipe is pretty awesome too.

4. she's a pretty funny. and i know that she thinks a lot more funny things than she actually says out loud - she's just too nice to say them all.

5. she let's me complain about how hard i think my life is. and then tells me to keep pushing forward.

6. i'm pretty sure my mom is in better shape than i am. we went on a bike ride once and she pretty much kicked my butt. and that was when i was in high school. and i was skinny.

7. she's my most faithful blog reader.

8. she writes incredible poems and stories. i'm sure you'll see them around one day after someone figures out they need to be published.

9. she's always ready to have a good time and loves eating as much as i do.

10. she is a fabulous photo assistant. and a pretty decent model too.

11. she really is the most giving person i know.

love you mom :)

xoxo.

jana

when i get to have babies.

2009-10-15T10:26:00.000-07:00

i will gladly take lots of boys.

like 4, maybe 5.

seriously.

sugar cookies.

2009-10-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

as promised...

the most fantastic sugar cookies on the face of this earth.

you may have seen these before on my blog here or here. so i figured it was due time to share the recipe [the cookies in these other posts actually look better than the pumpkins. just sayin].

also, as promised, where they came from: a good church friend from california taught us how to make these when i was in high school - and i will love her forever.

deb child's sugar cookies

2 c. butter

1 1/2 c. sugar

4 egg yolks

2 t. vanilla

4 1/2 c. flour

icing

2 lb. bag of powdered sugar

3 T. powdered meringue

1 t. clear vanilla

1 t. butter flavoring

1/2 t. almond flavoring (optional)

for cookies:

first, cream butter and sugar. then, add egg yolks and vanilla. add flour to mixture gradually. the dough will roll out best if it has been chilled for a few hours. roll out cookie dough to 1/4-1/2 inch thick, and cut into desired shapes. place cookies on a buttered cookie sheet or a cookie sheet covered with parchment paper. bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes.

icing:

mix ingredients. [seriously, that's about it]. Add water to the mixture incredible slowly, until the icing is at the proper consistency for piping through a bag - but it should still be pretty thick. then, feel free to add some color.

and here are some tips.

it's preferable not to do everything at once. when i try to finish these up all in one day, i start to go crazy and the icing job shows it. maybe make up the cookie dough one day and bake and frost them the next. or cook them with a helper - it makes life a lot easier.

i roll my cookies out thick - like 1/2 inch thick - before cutting the dough into desired shapes. they taste better that way.

watch your oven to figure out the exact cooking time. i take my cookies out when they just barely start thinking they want to look the least bit golden on the edges. they'll be softer and more awesome and last longer.

and here's the biggest tip of all - icing. it looks hard, right? wrong. use a piping bag to frost an outline on your cookie - i frost all of my outlines at once. then, thin the remaining icing with water [it doesn't take very much]. use this thin icing with a spoon to fill the inside of the cookies that have already been outlined - that's how the frosting gets so smooth. and if you have any piping icing left, use it for further cookie decoration.

let the icing dry overnight. trust me. then wrap them up, or serve them at a party and impress all your friends.

happy baking!

xoxo.

jana

if i'm a terrible instruction giver, please feel free to tell me and ask questions :)

get excited.

2009-10-13T01:21:00.000-07:00

yes, i am up way too late.

i'm blaming it on the fact that i fell asleep on my couch today in the middle of the afternoon. i didn't mean to, i just did.

and you know what i dreamt about?

pasta.

i know, it was a little weird. but it made me want to cook. and take pictures of food. and share the love with you. which i'm going to do... starting tomorrow.

here come recipes on wednesdays.

it's gonna be big.

xoxo.

jana

ps. i'm sure they're mostly going to be recipes i steal from other people. like my sister. but don't worry, i'll always tell you where they really came from.

pss. it's raining outside. i love it.

psss. yes, i wear animal prints. no, it's not always trashy.

puppy love.

2009-10-12T12:23:00.000-07:00

in case you were wondering...

dogs are hard to paint.

but then, it's finished. you send it off, and the recipient tells you they were so happy with how it turned out that they might have cried.

and you forget how hard it was and how badly you wanted to throw your paintbrushes.

dear northern californians,

2009-10-06T17:35:00.000-07:00

i'm coming home.

get excited.

from november 5-7, approximately.

well, actually, my coming home is contingent upon whether or not i can round up a few families for photo sessions that weekend.

interested?

shoot me an e-mail at janalaurene@gmail.com for the details.

everyone needs some family photos for their christmas cards, right? right.

[above is the photo and christmas card i designed for my brother's family last year].

if you give a boy your camera.

2009-09-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

at an art museum...

chances are, he'll take funny pictures.

of you.

and your legs.

and you won't even notice until you get home and upload them to your computer.

the ripley family.

2009-09-28T11:21:00.001-07:00

this is actually the first extended family session i've ever done.

i loved their dogs :)

i know it's bad to pick favorites.

2009-09-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

but it's hard not to when you paint a girl this cute.

i feel like this is the first painting i have ever done that could be described as exquisite.

and i love it.

a lot.

a lot a lot.

xoxo.

jana

the morley family.

2009-09-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

this was easier than e-mailing a few of my favorites :)

tell me what you think, ann!

i know pretty people.

2009-09-19T10:58:00.001-07:00

have a lovely weekend.

xoxo.

jana

the perry family.

2009-09-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

featuring the perfect family photo.

it was actually pretty exciting to have a photo session where every family member looked at the camera without me having to ask. i'm used to photographing little ones that need some help :)

ps. i discovered during this session that my mother is the best photo assistant in the world. and no, you can't have her.

rollins.

2009-09-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

funny story.

a few weeks ago, i drove down to san diego to take some photos for my friend erin and her gorgeous little family.

we actually met via e-mail when erin ordered some paintings from me. but regardless, we're now friends :)

she had said a few times that she wished i lived closer so i could take family pictures for them. so i had an idea. i told her if she could get a few different families to set up photo sessions in her area, i would be more than happy to travel down there and even do her family's session for free in return for her setting everything up!

so we did it. and i was thrilled at how well everything turned out!

thanks for everything erin, it was fabulous to finally meet you! hope you love the photos - the rest will be on their way shortly. cross my heart :)

i swear i'm still alive.

2009-09-08T16:33:00.000-07:00

life has been a little crazy around here lately.

might as well do a little re-cap/brain dump.

i decided that i was a lot pretty when i was 18. i can't quite put my finger on what's different. but it's sad, regardless.

moving on.

my last few weeks of summer were spent doing the following:

fly home home to northern california.

drive 8 hours the next day to southern california. 3 photo shoots that day. 2 photo shoots the next day. then drive the 8 hours back home.

play for a few more days at home with the family.

fly to the boy's home in oregon to meet his family.

play there for 4 days.

drive 14-ish hours back to utah home with him and a friend.

school started last week. i'm actually loving my classes so far and i am quite determined to be a good student this semester. the fact that my schedule isn't completely finalized may not quite be the best start, but whatever. 4.0 here i come. we'll see how long that motivation lasts :). feel free to wish me luck.

i don't have a parking spot at my apartment complex this year [retarded], so i have to park on the street. i got 3 parking tickets last week. awesome. [no, not awesome].

remember my creative drought i posted about? well, the ideas haven't started raining down yet. that + my crazy busy life would probably explain my hiatus in blogging. i feel a creative spell coming next week though. i've been rain dancing. and in the meantime, i have loads of overdue pictures and even a few paintings to share.

does anyone watch project runway? i saw it for the first time ever last week and i am slightly obsessed. that + my intermediate sewing class have me giddy and excited. seriously :)

so i guess i lied. there actually has been a few scattered showers of ideas. i just have yet to move forward with any of them. the boy and a friend actually inspired me to do a really awesome photo series after an interesting little conversation over clam chowder about following your dreams. it sounds cliche, but i am really excited to start working on it.

speaking of oregon and creative ideas, i met the coolest couple that has been creating and selling pottery for over 30 years. my friends interviewed them for their website and asked me to come along to take some pictures. i can't even tell you how fascinating it was for me. i'll share more details + photos later - maybe when my friend finishes the article he's writing. but now i want to take a pottery class. i seriously have too many hobbies.

i used to hate raw tomatoes. i'm starting to like them now. i don't know why. i think my sister's homemade salsa helped.

i feel like i have a bazillion e-mails to write. i don't really though. let's face it - i'm not that cool. i bet it's more like 10.

my little sister was here last weekend. i love her.

i made banana cake and cookie dough brownies for my cousin's birthday bash on sunday. there are leftovers on my kitchen counter. someone please come eat them. i have a feeling that cake for breakfast isn't the best thing for reaching my 'lose 5 pounds in 3 weeks' goal.

my internet decided to 'shut down unexpectedly' during the middle of this post. i'm sure it is now missing something incredibly important that was previously here.

yesterday, i went grocery shopping with some friends, and they jokingly told me to put the watermelon we purchased up my dress so it would look like i was pregnant. of course i did it. i feel like i am abnormally baby hungry for a 21-year-old. just saying.

the new season of so you think you can dance starts tomorrow. dear people at fox, you are geniuses for realizing we shouldn't have to wait until next summer for the glory and wonder that is sytycd.

i have to go read for my class tomorrow.

and go running.

and shower.

and eat dinner.

and clean my room.

and do laundry

and edit photos.

and try my hardest to not eat cookies or cake.

[really though, i even wrote it on my to-do list for today].

dear blog,

it is good to be back.

xoxo.

jana

we usually bowl on tuesdays.

2009-08-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

and i mean every tuesday = couple's bowling.

we even have a rotating winners' trophy.

but since we've missed the last 2 weeks due to vacations and road trips, we decided we couldn't very well wait until next week. so we went yesterday.

now i'm not posting this scoreboard picture to gloat because i beat everyone in this particular game, including the boy, whom i beat by 49 points [he's iceman. i'm twinkle toes].

no, i'm not gloating. that would be inconsiderate.

i just wanted to share a terrible photo taken by my phone of my best bowling score ever. 169 baby.

we love bowling.

oh oregon.

2009-08-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

isn't the coast gorgeous?

after spending 4 lovely days in oregon meeting the boy's family, i was not too excited to make the 13 hour drive back home to utah.

thank goodness for creeks off the side of the highway and harry potter books on tape.

call me crazy.

2009-08-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

but i have a strange love for kitchens.

like this one.

except i think i would swap the blue tile for some green.

my heart swoons at the thought of the pretty food pictures i could take in a kitchen like this.

i do this weird thing.

2009-08-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

any time i see a photo of something i like on the internet, i’ll drag it over to my desktop – you know, for future reference.

which is why my desktop looks like this.

i have folders too. i sort things when the desktop mess gets really bad. there’s actually only 2 internet-inspiration folders, so you would think i could just sort it from the beginning and avoid the mess altogether, but whatever.

anyway, 2 folders: pretty things + weddings [lots of times they overlap].

there are lots of pretty things on the internet these days.
quilts.
photos.
hand-addressed envelopes.
you name it.

finding pretty things usually make my heart do a little leap for joy
[especially the wedding things. i love weddings].

but not today.

in fact, today, it made me sad. and a little disappointed in myself

disappointed to the point of needing to give myself a serious reprimand.

jana, why are you saving pictures of coconut cookies with lemon-cream filling instead of making them yourself?

why are you spending time perusing galleries of others’ beautiful photographs instead of going outside and taking some of your own?

and remember that goal you had of finishing a new painting each week? yeah, not working out too well.

i know that sometimes i am just a little too hard on myself. i need to take a deep breath and remember that i'm only 21. i'm still a student. but that's just how i am. i have high expectations - especially for myself.

i guess i need to find a happy balance - between admiring the work of others and creating something myself that deserves admiration as well.

maybe i’m in a creative rut. or an originality rut. or just some kind of a rut. and i feel like ruts are never a good thing.

maybe that's why i've made blogging my outlet of choice lately.

[i think i heard my mom call me an ocd blogger the other day. sad.]

so how do i snap out of it? keep finding pretty things until i get my mojo back? find a vat of creativity to dive into? that would be quite convenient, actually.

i don’t really know. but what i do know is that when i get back to utah, i need to get my act together.

so here’s to another few days left in my vacation.

a few more days to soak up inspiration and hopefully find whatever it is i feel like i’ve been missing.

and then, time to make things happen.

why i love coming home.

2009-08-19T12:47:00.000-07:00

my parents are incredibly self-sufficient.

sometimes, i wonder if my dad was meant to be a pioneer.

these are his grapes. he makes his own grape juice.

he keeps his own bees and harvests the honey himself. he has the silly beekeeper outfit and everything.

[it really isn't silly. it's quite practical. it just looks silly.]

he has chickens too. we never buy eggs from the store anymore.

these are things i miss when i'm away at school.

i have to go to the store to get eggs if i realize i don't have any for breakfast. when i'm home, my dad will run out to the garden and grab some for me.

when i'm home, i don't have to think about buying vegetables. when my dinner needs a little more color and nutrients, i'll grab a zucchini or squash from the pile on the counter - cut it up, and throw it in a pan [with lots of butter]. voila. vegetables.

i'm smuggling out a jar of my dad's honey before i leave.

and maybe a few jars of my mom's jam in the freezer.

dear photoshop,

2009-08-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

i used to get all kinds of questions about you:

what photoshop tricks do you use?

what kind of actions do you run on your photos?

things like that...

but the truth is, i don't really use you all that much.

in fact, 9 times out of 10, i love my pictures straight out of the camera. i generally only use you for fine-tuning. i've never really made friends with 'actions.'

but i will admit, on a few rare occasions, i am very very grateful that you are around.

this was one such occasion:

[the after]

[straight out of the camera]

i was still getting used to my flash - i'm pretty sure it just can't keep up with how fast my camera can shoot - and this was one of the photos the flash decided not to operate for.

true, the after photo isn't the greatest display of photography in the world. yes, it's a little bit grainy.

but i love it anyway.

even the bride told me it was one of her favorites.

so thank you photoshop. we can be friends.

xoxo.

jana

i promise one day i'll post this wedding in its entirety. i'm slacking

what i've been up to.

2009-08-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

last wednesday: flew into oakland

thursday: drove 8 hours down to san diego

later thursday: 3 family photo sessions

friday: play at the beach

saturday: 2 more family sessions

later saturday: drove 8 hours back home

phew. the camera and i are both happy and exhausted.

i'll be posting more photos in the very near future. as well as sharing some details on getting a free photo session like erin's family here. i just felt the need to post a favorite from the weekend :)

xoxo.

jana

i need to have a dinner party.

2009-08-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

in a park.

or a backyard.

just like this one.

ps. it's getting hard to blog every day. just saying.

my poor camera is going through withdrawals.

2009-08-12T02:37:00.000-07:00

i can't even remember the last time i had a legitimate photo shoot.

lucky for my camera, and for me, i'm heading down to san diego this weekend for 6 family photo sessions. yes, 6. and i am oh so excited.

i've been going through a photography drought the past little while and it hurts my heart just a little bit.

when i first got my 'big girl' camera, as i like to call it, i took photos of everything. and i mean everything. my brother sitting on the couch, half of a pomegranate on the counter, 'vote yes on prop 8' signs in our front yard, you name it. somewhere in the past 10 months that enthusiasm for documenting through photographs has waned. i sometimes even find myself bringing my camera to certain events, only to leave and realize i didn't even pull it out of the camera bag.

does anyone else have this problem?

i am quite frequently the queen of designating myself as photographer for family events and what not, but i never manage to be in any of the photos myself. and to be honest, there are still lots of photo opportunities that i miss out on. especially since i've moved to utah and i spend a majority of my time with friends and/or people i date.

thanks to this little problem of mine, i couldn't really find any new photos to post. so i went digging through the archives.

and i found this one.

i'm pretty sure i snapped it during the first week with my new camera, and it is still one of my favorites. no set up, no posing, no reflectors. just my darling little niece in her birthday suit.

i also decided to brush the dust off of my photography watermark. [actually that's a lie, because i changed it a little bit. so technically it's new - no dust.]

how do we feel about it?

watermarks bring on this internal struggle for me. i know it sounds very dramatic, but it's partially true. i sometimes feel like it makes me seem a little too confident in my photography abilities. other times, i feel like it looks much more professional. but then i think, 'am i even a professional?' i don't want to trick anyone into thinking that i am, if i'm not...

but a little while ago, my dad told me this:

'jana, you became a professional photographer the minute someone first paid you to take their picture.'

and you know what? he is right.

people want to pay me to take their pictures, that means i must be kind of good at what i do, right?

no, i am good at what i do. i feel good about what i do. and maybe that means i shouldn't be so self-conscious about putting my name on my work.

xoxo.

jana

ps. california here i come!

pretty much a rockstar.

2009-08-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

i shipped these little lovelies off to switzerland a little while ago.

i don't know what it is, but saying that you've shipped your work internationally makes you think you're pretty awesome.

so whether i am or i'm not - i definitely feel like a rockstar.

thanks kristin for letting me paint your sweet little kiddos!

xoxo.

jana

speaking of german chocolate cake.

2009-08-10T13:33:00.001-07:00

i did have some for breakfast today.

it didn't turn out quite as well as it usually does.

i almost cried.

at least it was very photogenic.

little letters.

2009-08-09T00:58:00.001-07:00

dear blog,

remember when i used to write letters to lots all different kinds of people and things? yes, sometimes things... well, i miss that.

dear sunday,

i'm sorry it's 2am and i'm still not in bed. also, i wish you didn't come so early because i needed to go to the store to get ice cream for the cake i made for tomorrow. oh well, we'll have cake and milk.

dear body,

we really need to get your sleeping schedule back on track before school starts. really, we do.

dear scary movies,

we need to break up. actually, we were never together. but pretty much, i just don't like you. and i can't watch you. why? because i involuntarily saw a 3 minute preview for one of your kind on friday and it gave me a nightmare. a bad one! and i prefer to only dream about happy things. so i'm severing ties forever.

dear provo city library,

you did not have any of the books i wanted check out. so i went and bought one instead.

dear banana republic,

i decided that you're my favorite. i'm still only going to buy your sale items though.

dear martha stewart,

i have a fabulous plan. how about you hire me as food stylist, or something awesome, it doesn't really matter what... then, you'll realize that i am a creative genius, hypothetically adopt me as your daughter, and let me take over your empire when you're ready to give it up. that's just a rough sketch, but fabulous plan, right?

dear roommate brittany,

so glad that you're back. thanks for feng shui-ing the living room. it looks wonderful.

dear utah,

your dry air is cracking my heels. stop that. it makes me feel like an old lady. and what's with the random rain/wind storms in august?

ps. can't wait for fall. fall is my favorite.

dear beautiful german chocolate cake sitting on my counter,

i so want a piece of you for breakfast.

dear next week,

you are going to be crazy. i can feel it.

xoxo.

jana

[image via little brown pen. i think.]

so excited.

2009-08-07T17:25:00.000-07:00

to see this movie tonight with my favorite roomie.

this girl is the reason why i made the terrible decision to cut bangs.

great on her. not so great on me.

watching this trailer makes me forget what a bad idea it was and gives me the desire to cut them again. dang you zooey.

wishing you all a lovely weekend!

xoxo.

jana

winner winner. chicken dinner.

2009-08-06T12:46:00.001-07:00

i got an awesome little sunburn yesterday.

talk about some sweet tanlines.

but i know no one really cares about that.

so without further ado, here is the winner!

MeganL said...

That is adorable and I would love it for my bedroom! :)

July 29, 2009 12:31 PM

e-mail your address to janalaurene@gmail.com and the painting will be on it's way shortly!!

you guys made me wish i had 52 dandelion paintings to giveaway... but don't worry, there will be more where that came from.

xoxo.

jana

a lovely day for a giveaway.

2009-08-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

as promised.

here it is, with a few minor improvements.

simply make a wish in the comment section below and i will pick a winner on wednesday night.

there isn't even any fine print. the painting will be at the winner's door as soon as fedex can get it there. BUT... there is a way to increase your odds.

1. if you feel like posting about this giveaway on your blog and leaving a link to said post in the comment section, i'll enter your name twice. this isn't mandatory for entry though, so don't worry.

2. if you already left a comment about my dandelions on any of my previous posts, i'll enter your name an extra time as well. [because comments make me happy. and i like attention, let's just be honest].

so wish away!

in case you were wondering, i'm wishing for a trip to disneyland soon... what can i say? i just love that place.

stay tuned.

2009-07-31T10:15:00.000-07:00

i'll be posting the rest of this wedding next week.

and having a giveaway.

and maybe i'll even post a recipe like i used to.

in the meantime, have a lovely weekend :)

xoxo.

jana

i love camera timers.

2009-07-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

[taken on the fourth of july]

i added this photo to my new banner a little while ago..

but decided it needed a post all its own.

xoxo.

jana

ps. thank you thank you thank you for all of your sweet comments. they have been making my day... i can't even tell you :)

oh life.

2009-07-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

[photo taken today]

i feel like it's been a while since i've dumped my brain. so here goes.

first, i feel like i need to say thank you. thank you for the sweet comments about my dandelion painting. i'm going to fix it up a little and give it away real soon, so get excited :). it was so fun to paint something different, with no definitive direction or real purpose other than the fact that i love to paint. and just thank you in general for reading my little blog. when i first started this thing, i really had no idea what i was doing it for, and i'm pretty sure i was the only one reading it. but blogging is strangely enjoyable, even more so knowing that people read it. not only do they read it, but some people actually like it. and that is reason enough for me to blog.

in fact, i'm on a little blogging kick right now. i'm 3 for 3 this week. that is much more desirable to me than my blogging lulls. i hope you feel the same way.

i had a pretty day today. hence, me posting another picture of myself. it's funny what a difference it makes to actually try to look your best for no reason other than you just plain feel like it. i felt 10 million times better today than i did yesterday, when i didn't shower and stayed in my swimsuit all day long.

i think my red lipstick today may have even helped me almost beat my all-time bowling record, as well as almost beat a certain someone i was playing against. yeah, i went there mr. you-know-who you are. i almost beat you. in fact, i was beating you at some points of the game. i should have taken a picture.

speaking of this certain mr., he's pretty dang cute, and i really wish he didn't look at my blog so i could post a picture of him to show you how cute he really is. cute isn't even an accurate adjective... i'm going to go with pretty dang handsome or freaking good-looking. he doesn't like when i say freaking, but he does let me follow him around with my camera, and sits more still than me when i have to leave the shutter open for 10 seconds to get the picture i want. it's sweet. but i'm keeping the details of him to a minimum. one, because i like him a whole bunch and i don't want to jinx it and have to un-blog about him later. and two, he has yet to refer to me as his girlfriend. maybe after he does that, it will be ok to blog about him for real. just saying.

i have to take mr. aforementioned to the airport at 4:30 in the morning. that's in 3 hours. awesome. maybe i just won't sleep and i'll make an awesome breakfast. hmm. tempting.

i felt like i had a lot more thoughts when i first began writing.

oh, i did some goal-listing the other day. i made 3 lists of goals, in fact. daily goals, weekly goals, and monthly goals. i love lists. i love plans. and i love goals. i'll give you some examples:

daily goal: exercise. even if it's just stretching.

weekly goal: finish a painting.

monthly goal: read a church book, and non-church book.

i'm really excited about the reading one. i just started a book yesterday, and should have it finished by the end of the month. and i'm keeping a list of all the words that i either don't know, or wish i used more frequently. i need to work on speaking better - another goal.

today at the bowling alley, i ran into a boy, whom i go to church with, who told the boy whom i'm dating how i give really great comments in our church classes. it made me so happy. yet, at the same time, it made me a little sad. mostly because i realized i could be doing a much better job of showing that side of me all the time, outside of church. something else for me to work on. i'm all for self-improvement.

i'm in love with the next food network star. does anyone watch that? i really hope melissa wins. sure she's incredibly chipper and talks fast sometimes, but i still think she's great. in the last episode, she gave the most amazing little introduction. it gave me chills - the good kind. i'll have to watch it again so i can write down exactly what she said.

i missed the season finale of the bachelorette. in fact, i missed the last half of the season of the bachelorette. for how excited i was when the season started, it surprises me how quickly i stopped caring. but i think she picked ed, right? and i thought he was really cute, so good for you jill. also. dear abc, if you're reading this, i think jake would make the best bachelor for next season. trust me on this.

and i missed the last week of so you think you can dance. sad sad sad. i need to find someone that has it recorded. stat.

shoot, i just remembered i have no milk for the breakfast i wanted to make. certain boy, why must you drink all my milk?

i love taking pictures of food, and i haven't done it lately. i need more windows in my kitchen. dear future husband, please note that i would like a kitchen with a lot of windows. the natural light will be very conducive to my food photography. also, i would love white cabinets, granite countertops, and a chalkboard. i love kitchens. just saying.

i'm tired. i guess when you hit 21, all-nighters aren't as easy as they used to be.

ok, last thing. that is, if you are still reading. i would love to know what you enjoy seeing on this little blog of mine. what is it that keeps you coming back? what would you like to see more of? obviously, i'll still share what i find lovely and interesting and important to me... but as much as this blog is for me, it's mostly for you, let's just be honest. so i would love love love your thoughts.

hmm. goodnight/good morning. hope we all have a lovely wednesday :)

xoxo.

jana

i'm just wondering.

2009-07-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

is this something you would put up in your home?

ps. your opinions would be greatly appreciated - i might even be planning on giving it away :)

i'm feeling a little self-centered.

2009-07-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

and that's ok.

i feel like it's ok to take pictures to send to the boy you like when you're in california - that way he won't forget what you look like.

and it's ok to rearrange the furniture in your living room for a self-portrait when you're having a really good hair day.

it's ok to take pictures of yourself in some kind of reflective surface for the sake of documenting. even if you're just documenting feeling attractive.

really. it's ok to feel good about yourself.

it's ok to have bad days. and it's ok to be really happy on your pretty days.

it's ok to feel beautiful in your skin.

and it's ok to think about losing 10 pounds anyway.

i think regina said it best:

i've got a perfect body

but sometimes i forget.

i've got a perfect body

cause my eyelashes catch my sweat.

- regina spektor

you're right regina - i do have a perfect body.

i may not be a supermodel, but my eyelashes sure do catch my sweat.

a new favorite.

2009-07-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

WARNING: betsy, don't look!

this should be arriving at your door today...

could this little girl be any cuter? i'm thinking the next shirley temple.

and her mom was even sweet enough to let me paint her bow red. love it!

xoxo.

jana

ps. if you're interested in having a painting of your own, shoot me an e-mail at janalaurene@gmail.com and i would be happy to give you some info!

someday...

2009-07-21T16:03:00.001-07:00

i would love to have twins.

preferably a boy and girl.

so i could decorate their room like this.

you know you like someone when...

2009-07-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

you make a paper chain counting the days until they come back.

and it only has 5 links.

and you know that he looks at your blog and is going to read this, but you post it anyway.

paige.

2009-07-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

meet my friend paige.

she's from preston, idaho - you know, like napoleon dynamite. [she even got to wear an awesome poofy-sleeved dress for the school dance scene].

she sat next to me in our sewing class and would listen to all my crazy boy stories while we would unpick our seams. yeah, we unpicked lots of seams.

oh, and she does pageants. why wouldn't she?

i like to call these her future senator photos.

i almost forgot.

2009-07-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

this got me an A on my lighting assignment.

and a date.

[it was a really good date.]

sneak peek.

2009-07-14T10:09:00.001-07:00

i honestly could not have asked for a better couple to shoot for my first wedding.

can't wait to share the rest.

post 100.

2009-07-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

it only took me about a year and a half to get here. party!

i can't think of anything better to share in my 100th post than this pretty girl's bridals.

i kept showing her the pictures as i would take them while saying "can i just show you how gorgeous you are? ok, i just thought you should know."

yes. i love them.

lizzie turned 2.

2009-07-06T16:45:00.000-07:00

and she had a party all things nemo + some awesome mexican food. i'm sure nemo would have enjoyed it.

my sister is a master of cakes.

my parents.

the happy little birthday girl.

i love my clients.

2009-07-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

kerry sent me this picture

so i painted her this

and she sent me this

not only are my clients super patient with me, and creative, and just plain awesome, but then they go out of their way to tell me how much they love their painting and attach an awesome picture like this!

thanks for making my day kerry!

xoxo.

jana

ps. if you are an owner of a jana beck painting, and feel any kind of desire to send me a picture of it with your kiddos or of it on display on your home, i would absolutely love it!

today.

2009-06-26T23:01:00.000-07:00

i took this pretty girl's wedding photos.

yes, i shot my first wedding today. please join me in jumping for joy!

stay tuned. there are more to come :)

dear life.

more answers.

drumroll please...

ch ch changes..

21 questions.

dear mom,

monday brain dump.

me + the boy

jennifer.

one of the prettiest people i know.

the week of never before seen photos.

creamy chicken enchiladas.

just a little update.

today.

dear children of mine [that i don't have yet],

we like bowling.

baby maximus.

love. love. love.

so tired. should be sleeping.

it's nice having a boy around.

this is how i feel today.

sticking with books.

no pictures to prove it.

the female brain.

i have this problem.

grilled cheese reinvented.

christmas in california.

dear husband [that i don't have yet],

family pictures.

last christmas eve.

it's fun taking pictures of people you know really well.

let it snow.

my little men.

can i ask you a personal question?

mike + carolyn

brunch at our house.

dear fedex,

oh baby.

christmas pajamas.

thinking december.

thanksgiving for two.

the best things in life.

looking forward to...

i love when pretty families ask me to take their picture.

southwestern chicken chowder.

the sun will come out...

fall thoughts.

i usually don't post on sundays.

a diet coke kind of day.

ryan. melissa + boys

soup gone wrong.

pumpkin cupcakes.

a sewing dilemma.

winner winner, chicken dinner.

baked rigatoni.

a giveaway: because i feel like taking pictures.

i decided to start posting paintings on mondays.

face of friday: my awesome mother.

when i get to have babies.

sugar cookies.

get excited.

puppy love.

dear northern californians,

if you give a boy your camera.

the ripley family.

i know it's bad to pick favorites.

the morley family.

i know pretty people.

the perry family.

rollins.

i swear i'm still alive.

we usually bowl on tuesdays.

oh oregon.

call me crazy.

i do this weird thing.

why i love coming home.

dear photoshop,

what i've been up to.

i need to have a dinner party.

my poor camera is going through withdrawals.